God Is My Anchor;

From today's daily devotion - "When man puts something that has been broken back together, it is usually not as good as before. But when Jesus does it, all things become new! The One who made the heavens and the earth is more than able to make it better than it was before!"

2 months+ into my 1-year secondment & things are going pretty well :) Deep down, I know this is a door God has opened for me, and I feel very thankful. Fighting the rat race to hit KPI (yes the one 'big' word in the world of public/civil service) everyday no doubt, but I know nothing is impossible with God :) Hope is no longer just a wishful thought, but a confident expectation of absolute certainty.

Can't wait for awesome Sep and even more awesome Oct to arrive hehehe ;)

Hello July! :)

"Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than for and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry, saying 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:25-34

My heart skipped a little tonight.
Is it a sign from God?

Cheers to 6 more months of great blessings for this year, x

What He opens no one can shut, and what He shuts no one can open;

Of course, you never really forget anyone, but you certainly release them. You stop allowing their history to have any meaning for you today. You let them change their haircut, let them move, let them fall in love again. And when you see this person you have let go, you realize that there is no reason to be sad. The person you knew exists somewhere, but you are separated by too much time to reach them again.
— Thought Catalog

(With courtesy of repost from Gen)

I know I do have doubts in many aspects of my life now,
But I can only pray, and trust by faith, and not by my own efforts.
And that in itself, can be the greatest comfort I can ever ask for at times :)
I never ever thought one day I would be looking forward to go to church every week,
To be soaked in the atmosphere of worship can be such a good good feeling! And I do mean REAL GOOD!
And some time ago I used to think how can people commit so much time each week to go church?!
God did open the door in my heart,
That door that change my life forever.

Goodbye 2012, a year of Unceasing Fruitfulness :)

I guess 2012 is definitely one of the years I have shed the most tears for a person, 
and I know this wound is still in the midst of healing. 
"Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened". 
Was finding 6 pictures to collage on instagram to mark 2012 as the year of "Unceasing Fruitfulness",
but I think there are actually more than 6 key little milestones which happened :) 

1. D&D2012 Dance Through The Eras: FIRST time dancing as a duo on stage, led a flash mob, lots & lots of efforts put in to make the event a roaring success // 2. Mount Fansipan CONQUERED! // 3. 2nd 21km Sundown marathon < 3hrs, first 10km Shape Run // 4. Traveled to lovely Krabi, Hong Kong & Macau // 5. FIRST promotion for career // 6. Diving, a whole new awesome underwater world indeed // 7. Represent coy in netball (It has been my dream to represent school in some sports when I was in school hahaha!) // 8. Finally finally started to learn driving! // 9. Learning progress for Japanese on track, JLPT N5 cleared yay!

And I think the most important of all, 10. I've started my relationship... with God :) 

So yes, I know deep down there're still many other things for me to be thankful for in 2012. 
Many loved ones around me, supporting me, in my weakest times, sharing my joy, in my happy moments. 
Shall take the next few days to do some housekeeping!
I've spent the last few days of 2012 literally sleeping cos of gastric flu...
Reminded me that good health is still the most important of all,
so I wish you, whoever you may be,
 a healthy and blessed 2013 ahead!
Cheers, xx :)  

Hello December!

Haven't update this space in a long time, and I thank you if you've been faithfully checking back :) 
I've been busy living my life for myself, ironic it may sound.
But I guess I was too absorbed into the previous r/s and kind of stopped pushing myself to achieve new things in life perhaps? Will blog more about these thoughts next time round. 

Came across this on instagram yesterday, "The Bible never once says "Figure it out". But over and over again says "Trust God". He's already got it all figured out." It may even sound more ironic to say this, but I would like to say that I see the breakup as a blessing recently... Some things do have to fall apart for greater things to happen. Though I don't see the entire light for this yet, I know I will someday

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 

Another one of my favourite quotes from the bible. It is really quite amazing the kind of relevations I've been getting from my reading... Maybe it's also time to read the book on Forgiveness by Joyce Meyer. I officially opened another door of opportunity yesterday... I will trust God to make it happen for me if it is His will.

For now, I just pray that my jap exam will go all smoothly tmr! Cheers to this last month of 2013, I swear I'm going to make a blast out of it, to end this year with a bang ;) 
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Winter of my life;

"And the Lord shall guide you continually and satisfy you in drought and in dry places and make strong your bones. And you shall be like a watered garden and like a spring of water whose waters fail not."
Isaiah 58:11, AMP

September in South Africa is the beginning of Spring and all around are signs of new growth and new leaves emerging from seemingly dry branches, shrubs and trees. Most people I know in our sunny country prefer summer above the cold of winter; maybe because our homes aren`t really built to handle cold weather. Accordingly a feeling of excitement is ignited by the prospect of warmer weather and when the first summer showers appear, we`re all eager to forget about the cold winter and we pack away our jackets and scarves.

Many of us experience seasons in our lives too. When we go through a difficult or sad time, we refer to it as the winter of our lives. Normally people see this as a time when they aren`t producing fruit and no growth is taking place. It`s a season we wish would end. We long for better and happier times to come because of feeling empty and worthless.

In nature winter also seems to be a time when nothing`s happening. We don`t see trees full of blossoms or fruit growing. We only see the ground covered in leaves that have fallen off. Gardeners usually rake these leaves away to keep the area clean and tidy. But actually these leaves should be left to rot and produce a compost for the soil, nourishing the tree.

We can learn from the way God designed nature to do this nourishing. Winter`s a time when the tree`s going through a process of preparation for the new season. It isn`t a worthless time. When the blossoms and leaves appear it`s after a vital season of inner growth and preparation. In the same way we can learn to embrace the hard times in our lives. We can allow the Lord to bring inner healing and growth through them. Instead of pushing things away (like raking up the leaves), we should allow the Lord to help us deal with the issues we’re faced with. God promises to work all things out for the good of those who love Him and above all desire His will (Romans 28:8, NLT).

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Wake me up when September ends;

Settled myself down with a cup of hot cherry & cinnamon tea (all thanks to Cheryl who gave me a pack bought from London during her Olympics stint, so proud of her cooking all day long for the Singapore athletes btw! <3), eye masks on my face (this one thanks to Mel, a colleague of mine who went to HK a while ago!) and then the clock strikes 12. 

So... it's officially October.
I sighed, literally as I typed this part. 
The answer is obvious isn't it. The heart knows that this Oct will never be the same again as the past 2 years. 
So many random thought for the passing week, and wanted to blog since Monday but haha yeah all the excuses & procrastinating boo. Pardon me if this entry is super longgg cos I think for once, I feel like I have alot to blurp out on this little space of mine. 

In a twink of eye, it's been 3 months.... well i'm not going to be exact with like + XX days for once. 
I think with each fall in life, one would just have to learn the hard way and some perspectives would be changed for life
This isn't gonna be a tear jerking entry, I wouldn't want to put myself through such emotional stress before a brand new week of work ahead, just want to pen down some plain thoughts and reflections I have had over the past weeks.

For those who know me well, it has always been my goal to set up a business pertaining to my baking hobby, albeit not anytime soon to have a brick and mortar shop. But the idea of having a small online business has always been on my mind from time to time. Now that I've a business partner, and in the process of brainstorming & planning, I hope it can materialize by end of this year perhaps? Really don't want to put a 'deadline by when', knowing that I already have a quite fair bit on my plate currently.

People around me tend to wonder why my schedule is always so packed. One, I've my must-have-me-time & 
activities to upgrade myself, second, I've various groups of friends and loved ones to spend time with ;) For the former, I'm glad I've the basics of driving a manual car, though not on track to chiong for a license by year end cos test dates are already on end Jan earliest. I've checked and there are no more 'good' slots left (my teacher has this theory of 11am is the first best, 10.15am is the second best, and 3.45pm is the third best hahaha) so I ought to camp for Feb dates this week! I really really hope that I can clear it before CNY! So glad one of my couz has agreed to coach me when I'm more ready to take on the roads in Pontian in time to come!: D I think at the end of the day, driving is really about practicing = 'perfecting' skills and be in control of the car no matter what the circumstances may be. But I still think it's more of a guys thing LOL :P Nevertheless, I think I'm lucky to be enjoying my driving lessons from this chinese speaking uncle Mr Ng, and maybe cos his daughter has the same chinese name as me, so he tends to be a little more nicer to me even when he 'nags' at me ;) My target, pass on first attempt :D The colleague whom passed me Mr Ng's contact did it, and from the way I went through my lessons with him, Mr Ng is very particular about me knowing each skill step-by-step and understanding the mechanisms/reasoning. Thumbs up for being so structured, my cup of tea haha :D 

So that's for driving. As for my Japanese learning, all is going well.
Except that I have a change of sensei, sadly. 
Really enjoyed learning nihongo from Kasai sensei, but she decided to go back Japan so that she can be reunited with her Germany boyf, how sweet righttt ;) 
And she's SAME age as me, really very gentle and sweet and pretty sensei, who likes to drink wahaha. 
It shall be passing N5 this dec, and N4 next july :D 
Then I shall decide whether to continue or not, maybe by then I would have fought for opportunities elsewhere ;) 

Third learning piece, I guess will be diving... 
Sigh again haha. 
Shan't dwell on the unhappy encounters, 
but thank God for placing such kind souls for the pool session which I had to settle myself. 
God is a good God :) 
It's quite a feat for me to conquer all these water sports actually, since my swimming skills are so damn weak LOL. 
I guess people who are good swimmers will never quite get what I mean,
but I believe God made us all different, 
each of us has our own strengths to shine upon :) 

Can't help but thought of my virgin art-jamming experience on Fri in office. 
It is an interest group championed by my HR director and one of my close colleagues,
so I decided to give it go, though I kept harping on the fact that 'I really don't know how to draw'. 
But seriously, I meant it. 
If I have the flair for drawing, I would have known myself right hahaha. 
I was really glad I went, and the whole experience was pretty therapeutic & enjoyable! 
Can't wait for the Dec bazaar which these art pieces will go on sale and the proceeds will go to our CSR! 
And praise God for the chance to design the marketing blast for this bazaar! ;) 
I beamed when my HR colleague approached me and asked if I could help, and I gladly said YES! 
Well I don't know to how use photoshop, but I do enjoy putting designs and colours together in an aesthetic manner! 
If you ask me what will I do if I were to quit public sector, I prolly will want to do some marketing work in the private sector ;) 

On a separate note, I've been reading quite a fair bit. 
And sometimes I can end up crying cos the words simply hit on me, real hard at times cos they sounded familiar some time ago :( 
Maybe I shall blog about some of the paras the next time round, I do typed them on the notes app in my iphone so that I can re-read and meditate on them. 
I'm into Day 11 of the 40-day spiritual journey for the book titled Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren,
and the revelations have been far greater than I can imagine. 
I can't deny how much God has 'sought after' me for me to seek Him for the past years, I stressed, years,
cos it was during secondary 3 when I first came across Him. 
And more so of the people He has placed in my life since then. 
Amazing grace showered upon me, and I shall deepen this r/s in the days to come :D 
"Everybody has a home team,
It's the people you call when you get a flat tyre or when something terrible happens. 
It's the people who, near or far, know everything that is wrong with you and love you anyways
These are the ones who tell you their secret,
who get themselves a glass of water without asking when they are at your house.
These are the people who cry when you cry,
These are your people,
your middle-of-the-night, no-matter-what people.
Quoted from Viola's blog, 
and deep down in my heart, there are indeed these countable number of loves whom have been my pillars of support and strength all these while, 
and they are always, always, always there for me, a call or whatsapp away whenever I need a listening ear. 

Friends are indeed God's way of taking care of us :*) 

Tears welled up in my eyes as I looked at the full moon ytd night in Pontian and tonight back in sg, 
knowing well how memories are what warm me up from the inside, 
but they are also what tear me apart. 
Goodnight, xx. 

It will get better;

Have you ever feel you miss someone so so much yet you can do nothing about it? 

"Pain nourishes courage. 
You can't be brave if only wonderful things happen to you." 

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